Experiences with The Dalai Lama

By Toria Betson

Yesterday, I had the great privilege to hear His Holiness, the Dalai Lama speak. His topic was Compassion and Peace. I was looking forward to hearing his thoughts regarding compassion for oneself, because I believe that is where compassion and peace must begin. The part of his talk that struck me most deeply was when he spoke of will power.

So much of self-help and self-care, revolves around will power, the will power to make each and every dental appointment, the will power to say no to that big plate of pasta, dripping with creamy cheese sauce, when I know I’ll feel bloated and sluggish for having eaten it, the will power to work out with my exercise ball, on those sleepy mornings that are too cold and wet for my daily hike.

The Dalai Lama said that a lack of will power was based on a lack of self-confidence. (Ok, he just may have my number there!) He went on to explain that to have self-confidence, one must be honest, truthful, and just. I felt disappointed! I can’t even recall the last time I lied, and as a Libra, treating others fairly and justly kind of comes with the territory. I respect his wisdom too much to have brushed it off as his being mistaken, so the rest of the night, and all this morning, I’ve been pondering his words.

Does my discomfort mean perhaps I’m not completely truthful with myself? How about being just, with myself? Am I being just, when deep inside I’m replaying words I heard so often as a child? “You’ll never be pretty.” “You’re lazy.” “You live in a fantasy world, and will never accomplish anything.” I won’t believe such thoughts are the truth! There really is beauty to be found in everyone. I am willing to work hard, and without expending so much energy on replaying and fighting such thoughts, I’ll have more energy to do so. And since when did being a dreamer mean you can’t amount to anything!

Maybe if I continue to monitor my thoughts each day, replacing those negative and dishonest ones with positive truthful ones, the rest will fall into place. Be honest, truthful, and just, and gain self-confidence. Have self-confidence, and will power will follow. Have will power, and it will be easier to stick to that diet, and exercise plan. I, for one, am tired of battling with myself for will power. Be honest, truthful, and just; might that be the key?

“May they achieve the eye of wisdom, knowing what must be done and undone and abide in the glory of friendship
and love.”
– – Dalai Lama 1960

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