The male orgasm seems like it might require an upgrade.
As we attempt to slowly remove ourselves from decades of purity culture invading our private lives, pleasure is on the table for discussion. Now that sexuality has finally come back into the mainstream, we have the openness and platforms to talk about and share new ways to play with each other. While oral, penetrative, and hand-to-hand combat are well-known successes of the male orgasm, there are other ways to blow your mind: the ever whispered about anal play.
Now don’t go running too fast. This is for cis-het boys too! (Cisgender-heterosexual boys, for those who keep the score at home). The prostate massage fun is for solo play and especially an exciting game with your partner. It’s a fun and deeply pleasurable way to spice up your sex life for all the straights, gays, pans, bis, and queers alike.
Thankfully we live in the modern-day world of tech, and those Silicon Valley bros are all about problem-solving. Using all their computers and inventors, the key to the best orgasm of your life is this year’s most sought-after sex toy, the prostate massager.
WHAT IS THE P-SPOT?
We may all be familiar with the infamous female g-spot (named after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who…found it? lol). But males have a much more straightforward name for their pleasure spot, the P-spot: the area on the prostate that gives you intense pleasure and euphoric orgasms. Have I caught your interest yet?
The prostate is a small, muscular gland that produces seminal fluid (all that stuff that’s not the sperm. The stuff helping the sperm swim along and stay alive). So by stimulating that area, you’re able to achieve a much more intense orgasm. You’ll also notice a shorter recovery time, causing many men to associate prostate massages with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Some men can even achieve orgasm just with prostate stimulation alone!
HOW DO YOU FIND IT?
Just anatomically speaking, your prostate is in between your bladder and your rectum. So, for internal and direct stimulation, you’ll need to insert into the anus. Using a finger, you can find it by inserting it about a knuckle-deep. Now to add stimulation, you’ll need to exercise a “come hither” motion with your finger.
Much like the female g-spot, the p-spot feels like a dense but squishy ball of tissue (and you’ll definitely get a reaction when you hit it). Don’t expect the feeling (or you) to come suddenly, it might take a bit of massaging. When stimulated, some might experience fluid leaking (or pre-ejaculate) from the penis that will have a similar sensation to urinating (don’t worry, you’re not!).
If you’re a little shy about penetration, you can play close to the booty hole for fun too. You won’t be able to stimulate the p-spot exactly externally, but you will find similar sensations by playing with the area between the scrotum and anus. It is a more sensitive area but a bit less invasive.
Every person’s body is different, but I will tell you lube will be your best friend in these explorations. If it’s your first time, it may feel a little foreign at first. But with some relaxation, you can really start to get into it. Nothing should be painful, so be slow with yourself or your partner.
WAYS TO PLAY
Manual or Automatic?
Anal sex toys have been around forever, but finally, some companies put these products at the forefront of their brand. While a good ole fashion finger will suffice, these new (and waterproof) toys will have you focused more on your pleasure and less on the workout your arm is getting.
For a more manual approach, lube will still be a must. But for those of the tech-savvy among us, Giddi products will have you feeling things you’ve never felt before.
Solo or Partner
Toys like this allow for solo stimulation and play. But, especially if it’s something, you’ve never tried and want the experience to be on your own first before introducing it as a regular bedroom activity.
However, if you and your partner are ready for fun together, it can give you a truly hands-free experience. So don’t be shy to ask your partner for some help in exploring this new, intense pleasure.
Some of the best positions for anal play will definitely vary from person to person. But here are a few to try out:
- Doggy (on your hands and knees): this gives you or your partner more access to explore. This puts your body in a position for your p-spot to be easily found.
- Legs Up, Pillow under the butt: my personal favorite, easy access to play with the penis while hitting your target easily
- Facedown, on your stomach: this helps with some hands-free friction while giving you more control of your sphincter muscles to push you further.
These new anal toys have all the gadgets to take them to the next level. For example, Giddi’s Tomo “Come Hither ” boasts 3 come hither speeds with 9 different types of vibrations.
What lube do I use?
The anus is not a self-lubricating area of the body. So when playing with it, lubrication is key.
- Water-Based: This is the only lube you should be purchasing when playing with toys. Silicone-based will warp your toys.
- Silicone Lubricant: This is great in the absence of toys! It created a thick layer of protection to ease any friction.
- Oils: This is only useful if you are not playing with toys and not planning on penetration. If used with condoms, it often will cause tugging or tearing.
SAFETY AND CLEANLINESS
Always make sure you give yourself a little wash before you play. Fecal matter doesn’t hang out in your rectum, but some people swear by enemas for a more thorough clean. Also, make sure to clean your toys before and after each use.