Michelle takes an innovative approach within health & fitness, infuses her personality to inspire women to love the skin they are in. Michelle increases self-esteem and confidence through Pilates, Nutrition & Psychological Interventions including NLP. Her first published book, Pilates for Better Sex, has led to requests for presentations, seminars and articles on dating, love and relationships. Below Michelle has shared her tips on how to increase intimacy in your relationship.
Have you ever watched a couple and thought ‘wow they look so in love, so happy with each other?’ Or have you experienced a feeling that your partner is in the room even though your eyes have not seen them? Connection beyond the physical increases intimacy. An intimate relationship strengthens a partnership, keeps the love strong and present. Even the most loving relationships can be tested at times due to modern lifestyle. You can find below some tips to increase intimacy and show your partner how much you love and care for them.
- Share Interests: Yes, having your own interests is healthy, but nip the boredom bug before it bites by sharing interests/experiences together. What common interests do you have? These not only increase your closeness because you are engaging in an activity together but they also give you a shared history enhancing conversation, rapport, understanding, the desire to explore and enjoy as a couple.
- Acceptance: This will take into consideration different interests. Acceptance goes hand-in-hand with encouraging another person to share the most intimate details of his or her self: hopes, dreams, goals, feelings and personal history. Your partner needs to feel confident that you accept and appreciate all those thoughts, feelings, interests that make them unique. If they are comfortable to be themselves, they will be able to commit and be open to you.
- Faith &/or Spirituality: Related to the shared interests, sharing your faith, either a specific religion or general feelings of spirituality, will enhance intimacy. A shared life philosophy can help build a connection to something greater.
- Date Night: Ensure you put aside time for each other, no children, no work, no technology. Yes, I said it, all electrical appliances to be switched off and say ‘bye bye’ to social media for one night. Remember the time when you first dated? They had your whole attention. Make them feel special: have quality time together.
- Eye Contact: Eye contact shows trust and emotional openness, and it also increases our feeling of being understood by another person. It demonstrates active listening, showing you are attentive. Look your partner in the eye.
- Touch: Being physically affectionate not only feels good, but it also triggers our bodies to increase the amount of oxytocin, ‘the love hormone’. This physical affection doesn’t just mean sexual intercourse. Consider the kiss on the forehead, the hug, a stroke of the face and/or a touch of the lips. Lying in bed naked allows your bodies to gravitate towards one another, the closer you grow the more your bodies will connect physically and mentally. Lying naked with ensure skin to skin contact often and increases intimacy.
- Laugh: Laughing is not just an indication we think something is funny. It is also one of the ways we bond with people. Think back to a time when you truly had a ‘belly’ laugh, you should be able to recall the event, even who was there. Recall the atmosphere, the feeling you felt. Laughing together increases the positive energy and intimacy of the relationship.
- Support: It is crucial to supply the right kind and level of support as needed and to watch out for too much informational support. No one likes to feel they are being told what to do. We are different and require different amounts of support at different times. The more intimate you become, the more you are in tune with each other’s energy and the ability to offer the right support will come with more ease.
Loving someone is more about the actions than the words. Always take the time to reflect back to how they made you first feel, embrace intimacy and trust. Love needs to be monitored and if the love jar starts to empty, ensure you fill it back up. Effort is required, with so many mediocre things in life do not let deep love and intimacy be one: love hard with your whole heart.