Spiritual Surrender - Awareness of Ego Self and Releasing Attachments and Expectations
What is Spiritual Surrender?: The Process of Releasing Attachment and Expectation
"If I am able to remain unattached to results, I am happy. It is when I am so attached to a certain outcome that I suffer.
I know that I can manifest all the goals and dreams that I've been given by my Higher Aspects, if I can let go of my attachments, particularly my attachment to time. Time makes me feel I am behind or not doing enough. It is only when I measure my goals against time that I grow impatient. I will begin to know that time does not matter. I've got eternity, after all.
The essence of me has all the time in the world plus infinity. There is really no need for hurry. That is only the ego - the part of me who is attached to manifesting while in this particular lifetime. The personality self wants credit for having achieved these things. The Higher Self knows that it doesn't matter which incarnation does what - all will be completed eventually. The real creation has already happened. It only remains to manifest it here on Earth. Even if it never manifested, it has ever been created. These creations cannot be taken from my Essence Experience, by any power." Moon Lodge, July, 1997.
Attachment and expectation are the monkeys on my back these days. I suspect I am not alone in dealing with these aspects of the mind.
I define attachment as an inordinate need to have something occur in a specific way, at a specific time, in a specific sequence, etc. and/or an inability to let go of that which no longer serves. We may become attached to unhealthy habits, rigid mindsets, negative thinking, defense strategies, projected schedules, our own plans vs. the plan of Spirit, the first idea vs. the best idea, etc.
Expectation is closely aligned with attachment. When we "expect" that things will go a certain way, we become "attached" to that knowing. Then, we may be completely blind to new opportunities or ways that something can come about. I "expect" things all the time, in spite of my best efforts to have no expectations and, in the past, I have been more apt to have what I call "negative expectation" than positive. Up until now, I have tended to expect too little, not too much.
By the way, my choice of words in the two former sentences was very deliberate. I believe that my mind hears every word I say, so I work to speak out my reality in a way that doesn't freeze me in a negative or unprogressive position. Use of the words "in the past" or "until now," leaves me free to make another choice the very next moment. It is not just semantics, it is energy. Each time I reinforce a trait or way of thinking that I no longer wish to keep in my life, by speaking it out in the present tense "I tend to expect too little" etc., I make it more difficult for my own mind to know that I want that aspect of behavior to change. Every time I remind myself that I don't have to keep doing what I've always done, by speaking in the past tense, like saying "In the past, I have tended to," I make it easier for my mind to imagine that I am already moving away from that aspect of behavior.
My past tendency toward "negative expectation" was made blatantly clear to me recently. I work as an actor, in films and television, in connection with the other expressions of my current life. It is my custom to inform my agents whenever I travel. Yet, when I recently went to Virginia Beach, Virginia, I did not tell them where I was going. I omitted my location for one reason only: I had an expectation that there would be absolutely no film or television opportunities in Virginia Beach.
Later, I found out that there are two television series filming right in Virginia Beach. Not only that but, the casting director for one of those shows had requested that my agent send talent for auditions but my agent declined, "expecting" that no one would want to drive that far for an audition. There I was, perfectly positioned for Spirit to give me the gift of an acting audition without any excess travel at all and I missed it because I didn't expect it to happen there or at that time. Through gritted teeth, I give thanks for the lessons learned.
One of the most insidious forms of expectation is self-expectation. For example, you may expect yourself to deal with challenging situations better than you end up being able to deal with them. Then, there may be a feeling of falling short of your own expectations. If there has been a repeated pattern of behavior from someone in the past or you have reacted in the same way toward someone over time, you might unconsciously expect the pattern to continue into the future. That very expectation creates the energy of keeping things familiar. Then, you may not notice that the other person involved has changed and is reacting in different ways or that you actually know healthier ways of dealing with your own reactions than you were aware of before. Sometimes, you expect people to understand something you're feeling or going through. Sometimes, they don't understand and then, you may feel hurt.
So, how do we break the cycle of attachment and expectation? For me, it has been a process of diligent self-monitoring. I made the decision to become aware of expectations, whether negative or positive, whenever they entered my thinking and to release them to Godforce at that moment, for highest good. I refuse to let my mind get on any circle of thought that ends up making me feel stressed about a situation.
A stressful or tight sensation in my body is a signal for me that I am trying to control the outcome of something, when that feeling occurs while I am thinking about a specific goal or project. Often, I must release an issue or concern to Spirit repeatedly before my mind is willing to let go of it for good. Be not dismayed if it doesn't always work the first time you try. It takes a really sharp mind to keep holding on to something you are trying to release. Honor the sharpness of your mind instead of beating it up for trying to maintain the status quo, and be patient. Gently, as many times as it takes, affirm "I release this matter to Godforce for the highest level of transmutation and manifestation. I give this matter over to you, Great Spirit. I release. I surrender."
As many times as it takes, over and over if need be, keep releasing the matters over which you are attempting to exercise any kind of rigid control. Release your attachments and expectations, one by one, and you will notice that fear, doubt, and insecurity begins to leave with them. It has not been an easy journey for me, personally, and continues to be a daily work for me. Still, the difference is worth the effort. I only thought I was controlling anything, anyway.
Don't ask why: Close on the heels of discovering that an expectation has not materialized or that the result to which I have (consciously or unconsciously) attached importance is not to be, I have tended until now to perpetuate my own challenges by asking why. Asking why is resisting reality as Godforce has chosen to manifest it. Asking why is mistrust of Spirit. What I am learning to do, when I come up against a wall of any kind (a wall is usually what I call any obstacle that keeps me from reaching the result to which I am attached, or that I expect) is to assume that Spirit knows best and that something of value is being offered. I am learning to let go of whatever direction I was heading for, with all my might, and stand still enough to see a new direction emerge. This has been, up until now, very difficult for me. Tenacity is a great quality to have, and I honor my tenacity. Yet, there are times to give in, let go, shift gears, stand still.
If you have come up against a wall, it is time to cease resistance to what is and look for the message. I look forward to the day when I will just "go with the flow," regardless of whatever other plans I may have made at any moment. My challenge has been to know how to do that while, at the same time, having any plans at all. Up until now, as soon as I make a plan there follows both attachment and expectation. I've had to diligently monitor my own mind on a moment-to-moment basis, to keep from perpetuating the patterns of my past. It may take moment-to-moment monitoring for you, as well, until the new way of being is automatic.
Alternative Healing Information excerpted from Moon Lodge Visions: An Acceleration Handbook
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