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How Not to Be That Boring Person

Have you ever found yourself in one of the situations described below?

You and your friends go out to a local bar for some relaxation time. You are standing at the bar with your buddies whom are all chatting away with people you have never met before. Then it hits you. Nobody is talking with you. Why?

You’ve been waiting on line at the local coffee shop for what seems forever. What takes those “baristas” so long anyway? People are patiently waiting their turn by making small talk about the day ahead. You are busy looking at the food behind the counter. Then it hits you. Nobody is talking with you. Why?

You are waiting in the boarding area at the airport and the much-dreaded announcement comes on the loudspeaker. Your plane is going to be taking off 30 minutes late. Folks seated in the area begin expressing their dismay, talking about the upcoming trip, what they are going to do when they land, plans for sightseeing, and share some recommendations for good restaurants. Then it hits you. Nobody is talking with you. Why?

Then it really hits you. Your deepest fears about yourself are confirmed. You are boring, not very interesting and downright dull. Then it hits you again. You’ve got to do something about this. Then it hits you again. You have no clue what to do. Why?

Have you ever considered owning just how “weird” you may be? Look around the bar, the coffee shop and the airport waiting area. NOBODY is normal. These groups are filled with quirkiness. Maybe that’s it. They aren’t trying to hide themselves. You are. Why?Boring

On the lookout for what’s boring

Notice that the folks around you who appear to be boring to others just utter perfunctory proclamations to what others say, such as “Wow”, “Really?” or “Cool!” Boring folks ask elementary school level questions about the other person and don’t wait for an answer before blowing hard about themselves. See how they sit, er, I mean slouch? They look boring.

What can you do?

Do you want to sharpen your dull edge? Conform less, and instead, lead with authenticity, with who you really are, free of apology, put your differences out front and wear you with pride. Of course not everyone will find you memorable, so be prepared to smile and find the beauty in the ugliness around you. You have to be interested in others to be interesting to others. How?

  1. Don’t avoid conversations and don’t expect to be invited into one. Interesting people love to have conversations even with people they don’t know.
  2. Get uncomfortable. Embrace your inner dork. Boring people savor their comfort a bit too much.
  3. Stop posing. It’s ok to be wrong. In fact, it may be interesting.
  4. Share whatever are your interests. Don’t have any? Read #5.
  5. Be an explorer of everything around you. Give a real darn about what you discover. Others may find it interesting. Engage your brain!! Be well-informed.
  6. Shy? Confront your inner self-directed fairy tale and realize people won’t really take a bite out of you. Ask questions about the other person. Ask why and how.
  7. Think you still are boring? The link is what you think. Think you are boring and everything you do, say, think and feel you’ll interpret as a sign to confirm your erroneous thought. So drop the label “boring.” And please, don’t believe everything you think.rsz_eleanor

I believe that being creative and completely ridiculous is better than being utterly boring. In fact, when boring people call me “immature,” I keep having fun. Eccentric storytellers, fearless people and I guess, well, just ‘different’ people, are all of interest to me. “Great minds,” Eleanor Roosevelt said, “discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” How big is your mind?

About Dr. Michael R. Mantell

Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D. is a behavior transformation and leadership coach, speaker, author and an accomplishment mentor inspiring personal and professional development. He motivates people from all walks of life to achieve sustainable, high-energy, extraordinary outcomes and travels the world to train fitness and health professionals on the most current tools for optimal success. He is a best-selling author. His books include the 1988 original “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, P.S. It’s All Small Stuff," the 25th Anniversary edition of that book, and “Ticking Bombs: Defusing Violence in the Workplace”.

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