Home Dating After Baby – How to stay connected to your partner

Romance? I’ve just had a baby how do I make time to romance my partner? These were questions that raced through my mind frequently in the weeks after giving birth. As a mom of three children ages 5, 4, and almost 2, romance in my marriage ebbs and flows. Day in and day out, I find myself juggling multiple roles with very little thought on romance.

But when I see my husband, I smile and my heart leaps. In those moments, I realize that my connection with him is vital to a happy family. For children, the relationship between their parents is crucial to creating stability and security. Children need to know that their parents love each other.

So I decided that I had to fight for romance and I shouldn’t leave it up to my husband alone to initiate it. Yes, I am frequently tired. Yes, we don’t have much access to babysitters. Home dating was my solution and I was happy to sacrifice sleep for it. With careful thought and research, I began to compile a short list of home dating ideas that would give my husband the undivided attention he deserves and at the same time deepen our bond. I realized that a culture of romance has to be cultivated. Here are my tips and ideas on home dating and keeping the romantic spark alive in your relationship.

5 Romance tips

1. The first five minutes you see each other sets the tone for the rest of the night or day. When you wake up, greet each other with a kiss, smile, or positive tone. When you see each other for the first time after a long day apart, give each other a warm greeting.
2. Agree on a time once a week that you can dedicate to focused quality time.
3. Seize the opportunities as they present themselves. If you have five minutes alone in the kitchen while supper is cooking, use it to catch up on the day. If the baby is happily playing on the play mat, grab a beverage of your choice and sit down for a chat.
4. Coffee time. You might find your own term for this. The idea is to give each other a few minutes to catch up on the day. This may be while one of you holds the baby and the other cooks dinner. It may be over a cup of coffee with baby playing nearby.
5. Cuddle, hold hands, and stolen kisses. Touch your partner when you walk past each other. Hold hands while you sit. Steal quick kisses where possible. My husband often pulls me into his arms for a hug and reminds me that I have thirty seconds for a hug. Usually he is right.  These small acts can go a long way to keeping you and your partner connected.

Dating ideas

When your baby is fast asleep for the next few hours in the night, grab your baby monitor and try some of the following dating ideas:

• Wine tasting – Purchase a couple of bottles of different wines. Try and give yourself a variety of flavors to taste. Don’t forget a palate cleanser such as dark chocolate.
• Foot spa – Relatively inexpensive, a foot spa is a great way to pamper your partner. All you need is a foot spa (or large round container), water, salts, and cream. I sometimes throw in a few rose petals from the garden for that extra romantic flair.
• Star gazing – Take a blanket out into the garden. Look up at the stars and see how many constellations you can find. Catch up. Enjoy the fresh air.
• Play games – The games that you can play are unlimited ranging from crossword puzzles to board games, card games and TV games. Have fun with each other. Sometimes it is good to not talk about work or babies.
• Cook dinner – Cook a meal together. Make that new recipe you have been wanting to try. Dress up to add extra flair.
• Movies & popcorn – Why not plan to watch a new release or an old movie together? Maybe you have a new TV series you’ve been meaning to watch for a while. Whatever your choice, get the TV ready, make some popcorn and enjoy a relaxed night at home. I like to add Astros or Smarties to my popcorn. You can also make caramel popcorn.
• Candlelight dinner – This home date may require a bit more attention and planning. Make a delicious meal. Bath baby and put them to bed early. Decorate your table with candles. Play music in the background. Enjoy a lovely dinner together and if you are the dancing type, have a slow dance in your dining room or lounge.
• Neighbourhood stroll – This is one of those date ideas that your baby can join you in. Baby will love nature’s scenery while you and your partner catch up.
• Sushi – You can either get sushi take out or attempt to make your own sushi. Either way, it will be a fun night for both of you.
• Wine & cheese – Have a glass of wine together while you share a cheese platter.
• Music playlists – For those couples who love music, spend time together creating new playlists for each other. You never know what new music your partner may find for you. You may end up with a new favourite tune or band.

This is a short list to inspire you towards finding your own home date ideas. What home dates work for you? How have you kept your romance alive after giving birth? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.